Debunking cosmetics ads

I wanted to write a blog debunking cosmetics ads because I find them laughable. Liposomes, three-dimensional pigments, salicylic acid, vitamin C, light diffusers, exfoliators, moisturisers, UV protection,  photosensitive pigments, SPF15, SPF12, ginseng, ginkgo, ginkgo biloba, green tea, aloe vera, mint, wheat germ oil, almond oil and on and on. It seems that science and ‘special ingredients’ are essential to justify manufacturer’s claims. It’s no good to tell customers only what a cream or lotion does – it has to be supported by an ingredient. Even if it’s meaningless.

Researching the subject on-line I was a bit disappointed that I wasn’t the first to have a go at cosmetics companies – in fact it’s a bit of an industry. I found spoofs on Johnson & Johnson and Naomi Campbell‘s cosmetics line as well as a site; The Spoof, that specialises in spoofs and has a bunch of them for cosmetics companies

My favourite is…

A poncy cosmetic giant has invented ANOTHER daftly pronounced product.

Annoying adverts starring posh celeb’s telling us how we “are worth it”, and adding random vowels and French accents to words in order to make them sound better than they really are, are common techniques used by the cosmetics industry to sell their wares.

“Daft name invention” departments have already given us the likes of Casting Crème Gloss, Récital Préférence (both just some hair dye really), Color Riche (lipstick) and more recently Color Riche Shine Gelée (more lipstick, but sounds a bit posher).

The latest addition however, is by far the most ridiculous yet, and with so many additional accented vowels, the average Brit’ will soon be bamboozled into buying it in truck-loads!

And the name nobody’s been waiting for? Pro-Fixè D’amagè Excélleéncé Derma Couleur Nailèé Crèmmèeè, which is really just a crap, boring nail cream, but with all those French accents and extra random letters, and a little gentle persuasion from a Rich, or rather Riche, celeb, they know that their latest addition will be flying off the shelves in know time!

Another technique in selling crap beauty products that don’t really do much, is to state all the things it might do. Their Nailèé Crèmmèeè apparently “can help to reduce the appearance of damage to the nails” so….it does bugger all then really!

Remember – you’re worth it!

Simon